Back to work

I'm sure most mother's worry about going back to work.  Worry about what effect it will have on their kids, on their relationship with their kids, how they will cope with you suddenly not being there all the time.  Having a child with extra needs, just adds to that list of worries!  I'm a bit reluctant to going back to work and if truth be told, I wouldn't work if we didn't need the money!  Me and Caitlin have got a good routine going now.  I have to admit, the first few months being at home, I found it hard to adjust.  I was so used to having things to do every day, like going to work.  I worked up until I was 8 months pregnant and then left that job.  I didn't even think about getting another job again until Caitlin was around 9 months old.  

I started working with a healthcare agency a few hours a week from November  - March - it was only a few hours a week and it worked well in the sense that my brother was around to look after Caitlin.  But we worked out by the time I paid him and taxes, I wasn't making any money.  Combined with that and the fact that I had to take time off twice within a few months as Caitlin was in hospital, I quit that job.  Since then, when we haven't been stuck in hospital, me and Caitlin have spent our days going to playdates.  I take her to a kids music class which she absolutely loves.  We go swimming, to the park, we go on trips to the farm, the zoo and the beach.  Or we'll stay at home and play!

Now, I've got a job as a nursery nurse in our local day care nursery which I'm starting tomorrow.  They cater for children from birth to 11 years.  So, Caitlin has got a place there too for whenever I'm working.  I'll be doing 18 -20 hours a week so I'll actually make some money, and what could be better than bringing your child to work?  I'll be in the 2-4 year old's room and Caitlin will be in the 0-2 year old room but I'm right next door should she need me.  She'll get the benefit of interacting with other children, being around other people and there are a lot of activities that go on within the nursery that I know she'll love.  I can also catheterize Caitlin when needed, which was always a major problem with going back to work - I had nobody else who could do it.  Sounds like pretty perfect set up.  But I'm still scared!  Caitlin isn't used to being around strangers without me at all, I've talked about how she is fearful before.  I'm just hoping once these people become familiar, she will settle in.  I think it will be really beneficial for her to join in and interact with other children her age, to learn that not everything is exclusively hers! and to learn to share.  But I also worry about how she'll cope with all of these new changes.  I would be a fool not to try it out though, I mean a job that fits around Caitlin and all of hers needs is sure hard to come by.

I guess we'll see how it goes!